A few pictures from summer 2007!

Smiling for mama!
Playing with barrettes
Dressing up in sunglasses
Trying to hide from mama, so she couldn't take another picture!
Smiling for mama!
Eating some ice cream

Giving Mini (Nana's Horse) a bath

Playing in the hay

Inspiration

We just found out that the baby in my womb is a girl! We are going to name her Gianna, after Saint Gianna Beretta Molla. I have been reading up about her. I just finished a book named "Love Letters to My Husband", and "St. Gianna Molla. Wife, Mother, Doctor". The first one is a collection of the letters she wrote to her husband during their engagement, and during their marriage when he was away on business trips. It really gave me a sense of what she was like as a person, living a very similar life to many of us mothers and wives. During their marriage, all of her letters would at some point talk about their children, and this was especially touching to me because you could just tell through her words, how she loved her children so much, and was so proud of them, and how affectionate she was with them. It made her life even more tangible and real to me. She also expressed some of her very motherly concerns for her kids, which I found to be very much like my own at times. The other book was a collection of interviews with her husband about her life. It included her life before she was married, and her life after her marriage to Pietro Molla, during which, they had 4 children. She died one week after the birth of her 4th child. She was diagnosed with a tumor in her uterus when she was only 2 months along in the pregnancy, and against the doctor's advice, continued with the pregnancy, telling her husband and doctor that if there has to be a choice, save the baby. She was a doctor herself, so she knew that her chances of living were slim, but she willingly and adamantly endured the pregnancy for the well being of her child. As the loving and devoted mother that she was, the choice to sacrifice herself, knowing that she would have to leave her other 3 children behind had to be the most excruciating and painful decision of her life. But she was equally devoted and in love with the child in her womb, and knew that the only way to protect that baby's life was to be willing to give up her own. Both books were extremely inspiring and touching. She is a modern day Saint, who lived a modern day life, but with so much more love! There are so many other things I didn't mention about her, but it was her devotion to, and love of her husband and children, and of course her unwavering trust and submission to God that particularly inspired me. I really wanted to name one of my children after her, since she is a very important Saint and example in my life, one whom I consider my advocate, especially in things pertaining to marriage and motherhood, and I hope that as my little Gianna grows, she will know that St. Gianna is her advocate too.

Play doh

Yesterday we made play doh! It worked really well. I have never done it before, but thought the kids might enjoy something different for a change. I used a recipe that my sister in law had found awhile back, which called for kool aid! Dominic really loved playing with it, and Stella spent most of her time trying to eat it. Luckily, all of the ingredients are edible, but I can't imagine it tasted very good! I have been trying to come up with some new activities for the children, as I have a tendency to get a little stuck in a rut, and offer the same sorts of things on a daily basis. Sometimes, they are pretty happy with just playing with their toys, and I will play with them on and off throughout the day, but sometimes, they need a more planned and structured activity to hold their interest. We often go outside, where they love to play with the water hose and their riding toys. Dominic LOVES his little tractor, and Stella really likes her little pony! One was found at a garage sale and one was for free, and both are apparently the best toys we own! They also sometimes enjoy their wading pool. We do a lot of reading together, and once a week make it to each the library and the park (at least usually). But recently, Peter has started over time at work and so our days have been a bit longer lately. I have found that it is really helpful to have some other activities for the kids, so the day doesn't seem quite as long and repetitive for any of us.
The overtime thing is kind of hard, because I was so spoiled with Peter's original schedule, where he would come home by 5:15 pm, give or take 5 minutes! Now he gets home around 7pm, perhaps even later in the future. I know it is hard on him but he is such a good and dedicated husband/father/worker, that you can hardly tell. However, it does mean that we have a lot less family time during the week days, and pretty much no "us" time during the weeks days either. I have already found all of this to be quite hard, but do a much worse job of hiding it than Peter does.
But rather than focus on the difficulties (small and insignificant as they are), I'd like to close by turning my attention to how thankful I am for my wonderful and loving husband, and amazing children! They are my gifts from Heaven!

Potty training

We have recently introduced Dominic to the idea of potty training. He is very motivated, because he receives treats, every time he successfully goes potty in the toilet! We have actually decided to tone down the treat thing, as he was totally getting into it and consequently, becoming eligible for like 4 or 5 treats a day! We set up a potty points system, where he needs to receive 3 stars/stickers, in order to get a treat. It is working quite well, and he is very happy with this. We are not pushing him to be potty trained right now. We are just slowly getting him used to the idea. He is only two and a half, so I figure that we can take our time with it, and not stress him or ourselves out! It is pretty funny how excited he is about potty treats! He will often remember to tell anyone who has just gone to the bathroom: "You can get a potty treat now!" with a huge smile on his face.

I am a stay at home mom!

A typical, nothing planned, at-home day goes about like this: the children wake up at approximately 7 am. That of course means that I do too! We have breakfast. I clean up while they play, then I usually join them, and we do something together. Sometimes it is reading books, or dancing to some music, or whatever they are up for. Usually, though not always, I will get us ready for the day. This tends to be a rather drawn out process, as the kids like to run around in their diapers for as long as possible. Eventually, I motivate myself to get some chores done while they either "help" me, or continue playing. Chores and, odds and ends, are inevitably interrupted at a few points, in order to tend to the children in their needs. Sometimes we have snack time, and sometimes we skip it, because it is already lunch time! It all depends on how on-top of things I am that day I guess. After lunch, I again clean up while the kids play, and then we decide on some winding-down activity, to prepare them for nap-time. They love to read stories, but occasionally, I will allow them to watch a video instead, which they also love doing. So after we read stories, or watch a video, I will put them in their cribs and they will take a nap. Nap time does not always go so smoothly, but either way, they generally do go down for a nap. Since I am pregnant, I need as much sleep as I can get, so during their nap, I usually try to nap too. Otherwise, I will do other things that I can't do as well with the kids awake, i.e. showering, reading, computer stuff, finishing up chores, etc. When the children wake up from their nap, it is usually close to when Peter will get home, so I start planning dinner, and sometimes bake, while the kids and I interact and play. I usually try to include them in whatever I am doing, if it can be done. Then Peter comes home, we hang out with him and cook, eat dinner, sometimes have dessert, play and hang out as a family, then start bed time rituals, which sometimes includes bath time, almost always includes story time, and always includes song and prayer time. Again, bed time does not always go this smoothly, but we sure hope it does, and either way, the kids do eventually fall asleep. Peter and I then usually spend some time together. A lot of the time that means watching a movie or a favorite TV program, or perhaps just talking and catching up with each other on the day.
I love being able to stay at home with my children. I very roughly outlined our typical day, but what I am not able to express through this rather wordy overview of our schedule, are all the little things that make the day come alive... the times where I laugh at the adorable and hilarious things my little Dominic says. Or the moments that I turn around to see that my little Stella has dressed up in her favorite pink, fuzzy, sparkle scarf and blue hat with the rhinestone flower on the side, feeling and looking oh so pretty! Or the moments when Dominic wants to cuddle with me, or Stella picks out a book and brings it to me with a huge smile, obviously wanting me to read to her. Or the times when we put on music and just dance together. It is soooo adorable to see them dancing. Or the absolutely priceless times, when Dominic says: "I love you mama!" and hugs me. They never cease to amaze me, or melt my heart. Sure there are days that are, to say the least, VERY trying, but at the end of the day, no matter what has happened, I thank God for the blessing of their precious lives, and for the opportunity to be a stay-at-home mother, where I can experience and enjoy their presence on an every day basis; where I can be there for all of their firsts; where I can care for them in every way, and be the one who raises them.
The idea of writing this post came to me after I saw a show about mothers who had finally gotten enough "courage" to proclaim their true feelings about being stay-at- home mothers. Although they love their children, these women basically admitted that they found stay-at-home mothering to be extremely boring and not nearly as satisfying and fulfilling as it was hyped up to be. They talked about how they felt trapped, and couldn't stand all of the "mommy and me" play groups, and kids' books, etc. To that I would have to ask: what exactly is their motivation? I won't deny that there are times that can certainly be monotonous and mundane. There are times when things can get rather tedious and frustrating. If their goal, however, was to satisfy an urge to fulfill their life and put meaning to it, then they are going about the issue backwards. Children are a gift from God, not a check mark on your "fulfilling things to do" list. You glorify God in having children, not yourself. And yes, having children IS so extremely fulfilling, but the fulfillment it gives you comes when the aim to love and fulfill is directed at them.
The feelings in themselves are not particularly what I was struck by. Feelings come and go, and there can be such a huge range to them. Rather, it was their acceptance of these feelings; the fact that boredom and unfulfillment were apparently their overall experiences with stay-at-home motherhood. I just have to wonder how their children felt when they heard this. Any situation in life will surely bring difficulties, but if you have the right focus, you will be able to see the beauty of the whole picture and not just the small cracks in the paint . I want to make myself clear that whether or not one stays home with their children full time, is not the issue here. Each family must make their own choices and decide what works best. I am specifically speaking about what I heard the women on the TV program say in regards to their experience about stay-at-home mothering.
I suppose that after watching this program I was inspired to express my thankfulness at being able to stay at home and raise my kids. I know there are a lot of moms who would love to be able to do this, but cannot. While I have found myself very overwhelmed on more than one occasion, I have to admit that there is nothing in this world I'd rather be doing than raising my wonderful babies full time. And simply put, it is for them that I chose this, and in return, I have experienced the most wonderful moments of my life! God has blessed us so much, and one of the things I am so thankful for, is the opportunity to be able to stay at home with my children.

Quick update

Wow! So its definitely been along time since I last wrote. Not that there's not enough to say, but that there's not enough time in which to say it. My poor kids have been sick with one thing or another, for the last month. But luckily, I think children tend to weather things better than adults. Hopefully, they are coming out of it now, and will be feeling back to normal within the next few days.
They have grown so much, and are doing so many things lately that it is hard to keep up sometimes! Dominic speaks quite clearly now, and has soooo much to say. He also has soooo much to do; half of which he ends up getting punished for (well, that may be an exaggeration)! He is a very good boy, and most of the time, extremely sweet with his little sister. It is adorable to watch them play and laugh together. It is tough now sometimes with a two and a half year old, because he really does need a lot of stimulation and activity, and while I do my best to provide that for him, I think I have been falling short recently, as I am 17 weeks pregnant, and still feel pretty darn exhausted! All in all, though, things seem to be working out well. Stella is growing so much too. She walks all over the place, and is learning to be more independent now. It is so precious to watch her decide to do different things, like, pick out a specific doddie (her word for all stuffed animals, and real animals!), sit down and look through a book, dress up in hats and scarves that she finds in my closet and throughout the house, lay down and snuggle with a blanket, pull her little wagon around, etc. She really does have a mind of her own! It is absolutely adorable. I am loving all of the new things that my babies are learning to do, and I am loving being able to be with them for all of it! I call them babies, but they are getting so big, and becoming more like young children than babies. Well, they will be my babies for ever, but that doesn't change the fact that they are growing up, and will continue to do that for quite some time. It is simply bittersweet.
It is pretty much impossible to do anything on the computer while the kids are awake, which is why I try to do computer stuff when they are taking a nap. They sound like they are waking up now, so I will try to write again soon, hopefully sooner than two months from now!

A Blessing

We have recently discovered that we are expecting again! I am currently 7 weeks along, and things are going well with all, despite my having some morning sickness. Speaking of which, it seems to be less severe this time, as opposed to my pregnancies with Dominic and Stella. I thank God everyday for that, because if I was throwing up and having to lie in bed all day, I don't see how I would be able to take care of my kids. I suppose though, God gives strength and grace where it is needed. I am excited, though almost shocked to think that I am already having my third baby! What a wild and crazy ride these first three years of marriage have been. Our third anniversary is coming up on May 29th, and already, we have two children and one on the way, to show for it!!! God is amazing! I know that when I see a growing family, I think of how much love must be there. It is so refreshing to see big families. I have run into many people, though, who feel very differently about big families. Many believe it to be irresponsible to have a number of children, perhaps because if there are more than 2 or 3, it would be very difficult to ensure that each child will get everything they want, and it will be almost a certainty that their parents will not be able to pay for every child to make it through college, among other things. They will be more likely to have less stuff, to put it plainly. Along with this train of thought, I think that it is also believed that parents of a large family end up having to sacrifice the well-being of their children over all, in order to simply keep up with life. Where do they get all that time to be able to take really good care of all those kids? Those kids must be so deprived! To that I would say: deprived of what? I think that in general, people who grow up in larger families are mostly happier people because they had more family time. Their mothers could not have been able to work full time, go out with their friends on the weekends, and have plenty of "me" time, and still be able to take good care of their children. I think that in general, these mothers with lots of kids tend to spend much more of their time with their kids. They tend to be stay at home moms, at least as much as they are able to, as I know that monetary issues can sometimes force the mothers to have to work at least sometimes away from the home. I think that because larger families have less money to spend on material things that the kids and parents want versus need, they tend to spend more time with each other, and the focus is on the family. Children need love above all. But they also want love above all. There is nothing greater that a parent can give his children, than to love and spend time with them. I am convinced of this. There are no material things in this world that could take the place of a parents love and time.
The Church asks us to be responsible and generous in our families. What exactly does that mean? Well, it means to keep in mind the emotional, physical, and financial well-being of each person in the family, and also to realize that love begets life. Generosity does not mean have as many children as you possibly can, with no thought involved. Absolutely not. The responsible part is just as important as the generous part. It also does not mean that we must have a large family. If it is not possible to care for more than even one child, then the responsible act is to not have more than one. Decisions about family size is between the parents and God. However, the decisions must be met with great care, thought, and prayer. Generosity is an act of sacrifice, and its aim is not at oneself, but at others, and in this case, towards the family. I think this is a difficult thing to understand if one cannot admit that to love means to sacrifice. Certainly having a family is a sacrifice of one's personal time and desires. It means giving your life to your family; setting aside your own wants and sometimes even needs, in order to meets those of your children and spouse. Jesus says that the greatest love is to lay down your life for that of another. Of course this applies to literally giving your life so that another may live, but I think it also applies to giving your life in a less literal sense: giving your time, sacrificing your desires, putting yourself last, all for the sake of your family. Love begets life. And life is a beautiful thing.