Parenting

It just hit me, that my 13 month old daughter Stella has not nursed in a few days! This realization honestly makes me really sad. I decided to wean her at about one year, because both of us would always seem agitated during the nursing sessions. Nursing was never really such a huge comfort for her, as it was for my son Dominic. She would go through stages, but most of the time, towards the end of her first year, she would kick and bite and squirm for pretty much the entire time we were nursing! Every nursing session was becoming really overwhelming for me, and it didn't seem to be comforting her all that much. Weaning was a decision that I would always desperately come to at the end of each exhausting nursing session, but then I would give in the next time she asked for it, because I never wanted to force the weaning. My son Dominic nursed until he was about 22 months, and when he weaned, it was a very easy adjustment for him, and me, although, it still made me sad to have that part of our relationship come to a close. With Stella, however, I had to finally decide to just wean her. Luckily, she was never as dependent on it as Dominic, so it ended up being the best choice for both her and me. It has also given Peter the chance to be able to put her to bed in a much more relaxed fashion. I think because of this too, they are growing closer to each other.
Sometimes I find myself getting a bit overwhelmed about parenting because I feel like I am letting my kids down in some way. For example, will Stella be forever hurt because I decided to force the weaning, instead of letting it happen more naturally? The answer is of course, NO! Occasionally, I will allow myself to fall into the mindset that there is some universal equation to parenting, and if I don't do A, B, and C, in this particular order, and in that particular way, my kids are going to suffer because of my bad parenting! That is why I don't read too many parenting books, because I have a tendency to label things as absolutes, instead of looking at them as merely the suggestions and guidelines that they are. I made the choice to nurse my children based on what I knew to be true about it, and I continued to nurse as long as I did because my children were thriving with it! It was something that I found to be extremely good for them on many different levels. I love nursing my children, but I realize that there is really no right or wrong to the whole thing. There is a better or worse, but the decisions regarding one's parenting style should be up to the parents based on their children's needs and perhaps on other important surrounding circumstances. The most relevant conclusion I have come to about raising children, is that the only thing that truly matters is love. The particulars about parenting (i.e. breastfeeding, bottle feeding, bedtimes, co-sleeping, etc.), will naturally fall into a proper place, because as long as your decisions are made out of love, you really couldn't let them down.